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Have you ever experienced that inner voice that says, "You can take on one more client," or "You can groom one more dog," followed by the thought, If I don't take this extra job, the person might get upset and badmouth my business?

We’ve all been there – that nagging inner voice that pushes us to overcommit, to take on more than we can realistically handle. It's a voice that feeds on our fears of disappointing others, of missing out on potential income or of damaging our professional reputation.

But how much power do we give to this voice? How often do we succumb to its persuasive whispers, only to find ourselves overwhelmed, exhausted and stretched beyond our limits?

In the world of grooming, where creativity and passion converge, there's a silent challenge that can undermine the success of our business: the complacency saboteur.

This subtle intruder can infiltrate our daily operations, undermining the effectiveness of our communication and weakening the foundations of our business, leading to a burn out and high rate of quitting.

What exactly is this complacency saboteur? It's the tendency to settle for mediocrity, to avoid conflicts and to resist setting clear boundaries with our clients and employees.

At first glance, it might seem easier to give in to clients' demands or to avoid confrontations with staff. But in the long run, this complacency can be detrimental to the growth and stability of our business.

One of the most critical areas where the complacency saboteur can wreak havoc is in the lack of clear boundaries with clients. Often, groomers are faced with unrealistic or even abusive requests from some clients. From last-minute changes in requested services to unhealthy expectations about the result, it's vital to set clear boundaries from the outset. This not only protects the quality of our work, but also fosters a relationship of mutual respect with our clients.

Similarly, complacency can seep into our interactions with staff. Whether out of fear of confrontation or excessive indulgence, failing to set clear expectations and address performance issues can create a toxic environment in the salon. Employees may feel demotivated or resentful, negatively impacting both the quality of work and the work environment.

So, how can we challenge the complacency saboteur and cultivate a thriving and healthy business?

The key lies in clear communication and firm enforcement of boundaries.

This involves educating our clients about what is possible and realistic in terms of services and results. It also means setting clear expectations with our staff and co-workers, providing them with constructive feedback and addressing any performance issues in a timely and effective manner.

Here is a list of questions that might help you to determine if you are running a business under the effects of the constant pleaser saboteur:

1. Do I feel the need to please others to feel valuable or loved?
2. Do I find it difficult to say "no" to the requests or demands of others, even when they overwhelm me or go against my own needs?
3. Do I avoid conflicts or confrontations at all costs, even when I know it's necessary to address an issue?
4. Do I feel intense anxiety or fear of being rejected or abandoned if I don’t please others?
5. Do I find myself sacrificing my own goals, desires or values to avoid conflict or maintain harmony in relationships?
6. Do I tend to minimize my own needs and desires compared to those of others?
7. Do I feel resentful or frustrated when I find myself doing things I don't really want to do, but feel I must do to keep the peace?
8. Do I worry too much about what others think of me and constantly seek their approval?
9. Do I feel that I don't deserve to set clear boundaries with others or defend my own interests?
10. Have I noticed a pattern where I end up feeling exhausted, frustrated or dissatisfied with myself due to the lack of clear boundaries in my personal or professional relationships?

If you feel there are many ‘yeses’ to these questions, I’m here to help you with this exercise. You might not be able to master them immediately, but remember to be kind to yourself and your inner voice too.

Here are a series of actions that can help establish boundaries and overcome the complacency saboteur:

• Identify your own needs and limits:
  • Take the time to reflect on your own personal and professional needs, desires and limits.
  • Recognize that it's valid to have your own priorities and that you're not obligated to please everyone all the time. Take the time to think about this matter. Set a contract to yourself.

• Practice self-respect:
  • Acknowledge your worth and the importance of taking care of yourself.
  • Allow yourself to say "no" when necessary and learn to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty.
  • Set a routine and nurture yourself with things besides work.

• Set clear expectations:
  • Communicate your expectations clearly to your clients, employees and colleagues from the outset. This includes the services you offer, the limits of your availability and your business policies.
  • Set limits regarding time and days to be reached out.

• Learn to say "no" assertively:
  • Practice saying "no" assertively and respectfully when a request or demand goes against your limits or capabilities.
  • Learn to offer alternatives or solutions rather than simply refusing.

• Set personal boundaries:
  • Identify areas in your life where you need to set clearer boundaries.
  • Practice saying "no" in situations where you would normally give in, such as when asked to do something you don't want to do.
  • Practice the question: Is this what I really want to do?

• Start with small steps: 
  • Begin by saying "no" in less intimidating situations, and then gradually progress to more challenging situations as you become more comfortable with your ability to be assertive.

• Reject requests positively:
  • Learn to say "no" in a way that is kind, but firm. For example, express gratitude for the request and then explain why you can't fulfill it at that time.

• Reinforce your boundaries:
  • When saying "no" assertively, reinforce your decision by staying firm in your position, even if the other person tries to pressure or manipulate you. Sometimes the hardest part is to keep and embrace the limit.

• Learn to manage emotions:
  • Recognize that saying "no" can evoke uncomfortable emotions, both in yourself and the other person. Learn to effectively manage these emotions and to remain calm during the conversation.
  • Try to pay attention to where the discomfort is settled in your body when you said no. Imagine sending some type of energy to release that tension.

• Celebrate your successes: 
  • Acknowledge and celebrate each time you face a difficult situation and say "no" assertively. This will help strengthen your confidence and make you feel more secure in your ability to set healthy boundaries.

Practicing these actions consistently can help you develop your ability to say "no" assertively in a variety of situations, allowing you to establish healthy boundaries and maintain your personal and professional integrity.